Most breakups are not mutual, and a non-mutual breakup can be quite a messy and painful affair. If you have been through a bad breakup and you desperately want your partner back then there are a few things that you can do to persuade your ex boyfriend to consider getting back together with you. Of course, nothing is ever guaranteed in love, but if you have a good plan of attack you are more likely to be able to repair your relationship.
The first thing that you need to do is to think about why he broke up with you. Your goal isn’t to turn into a whimpering “I will change for you!” person, because this is not attractive, but by considering what it is that your boyfriend didn’t like, you may be able to avoid making the same mistake again.
Some breakups happen because one party was too clingy, or because your boyfriend got bored and wants something new in both of these cases, the best way to prove that you are the person that your boyfriend should be with is to get on with your life and prove that you are a whole, dynamic and interesting person without him. If you join a gym, take up some hobbies, start going out with friends, or enroll in a course and excel in your studies you will look more appealing to him because he will see you as an exciting, fulfilled person.
If you were too clingy in the relationship, apologizing and saying that you will change won’t draw him back to you because that is just continuing the clingy behavior. However, if you simply go out there and prove that you are not clingy and that you cannot just survive, but thrive, as a single person, suddenly you become a much more appealing commodity.
If you broke up because you were sick of each other, there is a high chance that you were just stuck in a rut-together. You became settled into boring routines and never gave each other any reason to think that things could be any different. That is not the way that things should be. By going out and doing exciting things by yourself, you will not only have fun, but you’ll show your ex boyfriend that you know how to have fun. He will see you doing all these interesting things and decide that he wants a piece of the action.
If you broke up because of cheating, then things are more complicated. If he cheated, you need to just move on and let him live to regret his decision. When he realizes what a big mistake he has made, he will come back and apologize. At that point, you need to be strong, content and happy, and make it clear that you are taking him back (if you choose to do so) through choice, not desperation.
If you cheated, then you will need to show him that you are genuinely remorseful and that you will never cheat again. This is one area where simply going out and having fun is not going to be enough. You need to prove to your ex boyfriend that you made a horrible lapse in judgment and that it is something you regret. Make it clear that you regret cheating – not just that you regret getting caught. Acknowledge that you breached his trust and that you did not want to hurt him. Accept that it will take a long time for him to trust you again, and that you will need to make certain concessions – such as checking in if you are late home, or even allowing him to look at your text messages, while the trust is rebuilt. Cheating is a massive breach of the foundations of a loving relationship and it is not something that you should ever do. The concessions may sound like they would be very unpleasant but they are an essential part of rebuilding trust.
Sometimes, relationships break up because of arguments about the future. In those cases, it is important to let your ex boyfriend take some time to think and to cool down before you talk again. If you keep trying to persuade him to take you back it will keep the arguments in the forefront of his mind. Be cordial when you see him. Don’t drag up old arguments in front of mutual friends. Answer his messages politely, but give him space. Let him come to you when he is calm, and you will have a good chance of rebuilding your relationship with each other. If you run into each other in public places and he is with another girl, don’t make a scene. If he is the right one for you he will realize this and he will seek you out when he is ready.
For more useful tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back after a bad breakup you can also check the video below by Ashley Kay.
Have a great day!