If you’ve been apart from your ex-girlfriend for more than a year and you still have feelings for her, the most sensible step you can take is to get her back somehow.
The process isn’t going to be easy, and you do need to take into consideration that it takes two to get back together. If your ex isn’t interested in starting a new relationship with you, it’s not going to be possible to rekindle your romance.
However, if you’re willing to put yourself out there and take a chance, you have the opportunity to turn over a new leaf, and who knows, maybe you’ll even get married?
Understandably, you’re not going to work miracles overnight and you shouldn’t contact your ex-girlfriend out of the blue. You’re going to need a foolproof game plan before you march ahead with your intentions.
Step 1: Figure Out Why You Want Your Ex Back
The fact is, many men mistake obsession for love and let’s face it, we all have a tendency to remember things incorrectly about people we were once in love with. There are many times when couples break up because, at the end of the day, they’re really incompatible with one another. If all you did was fight, you cheated on each other or there were a number of other issues, did those issues suddenly iron themselves out?
What you really need to do is consider the reason for your breakup and whether or not what you had was special in any way. You may be obsessed with your ex for years after a breakup, but you need to understand that being used to someone or obsessing about the past isn’t genuine love. If you broke up because you were spending too much time apart, you weren’t ready to commit or simply your partner wanted kids, it’s possible to get back together.
Step 2: Consider If Your Ex Is In A Relationship
Even if you haven’t moved on, there’s the painful possibility that your ex has. If she is engaged to someone else or in a serious relationship, your ability to rekindle your romance is already dwindling. You need to be prepared that there’s a 50/50 chance your ex isn’t going to be interested in trying a relationship again.
On the other hand, if your ex still doesn’t have anyone else in their life or she only dates casually, there’s a good chance she’s still not over you. It’s important, however, to keep in mind that a year is a long time and many things can happen. People change and so do relationships, but if she’s still available, it’s worth giving it a try.
Step 3: Learn To Forgive
Whether your ex left you or you did the breaking up, you need to come to terms with what happened first. The fact is, that it can be hard to get over a nasty breakup, especially if your ex was the one that instigated it. Before you attempt to contact your ex-girlfriend, take some time to reflect on the past.
Are you really able to move on without harboring any ill will towards your ex? If she cheated on you or said some nasty things, it can be hard to put that in the back of your mind, even if you still have feelings for her. Admittedly, however, it would be unfair to contact your ex only to start fighting with her all over again as that would only make things worse.
Step 4: Make Sure You Have Had No Contact For Over 30 Days
One of the hardest things to do is to avoid social media stalking your ex or calling her every minute after you break up. Give your ex at least 30 days before moving onto the next step of contacting her. However, the beginning of the article said these tips are meant to help get your ex back after you’ve been apart for several months or years, so this rule isn’t applicable.
Step 5: Making Contact With Your Ex
The first contact you make with your ex should be nonchalant and shouldn’t bring up the past. Text messages are very effective in making first contact and two lines are more than enough to illicit a response. Make sure to text back and forth for a bit before asking your ex out for coffee.
If your ex agrees to meet you for coffee, it’s a good sign and you can think of it as a date. However, you should still keep things low key and don’t bring up getting back together at this point. You should take things slow and give your ex time to see that you’ve changed. Ideally, you will want your ex to bring up the prospect of getting back together.